Life seemed so much simpler when we were kids. Don’t you think?
There were much less things to worry about, and more things that
could make us truly happy.
It was amazing how some simple things used to put a big smile on
our face. I still remember how happy I was when I got my first hula hoop. So
much happiness because of one simple toy!
The thing is, as we grow older and our world gets bigger and we
gain new experiences, we get overwhelmed and see happiness as something that is
hard to achieve, and fail to see it’s been here all along.
Why is it so harder to be happy when you get older? Well, when
we were kids, we were completely focused on ourselves, everything we did, we
did to make us feel good. As adults, we let the society define the notion of
happiness, but we are we in that story? We need to look for happiness inside
and stop doing things that aren’t helping us.
What You should stop doing and What You Should Do Instead?
1. Stop ignoring your own needs
Why? Trying to please everybody is a mission
impossible. You will never be able to do that. And while you are taking care
about everybody else’s needs, who is taking care of yours? No one. If you don’t
think about yourself and what you can do to be happy, nobody else will. That’s
the hard truth. The sooner you realize this, the better.
What you should do instead? Everyone
is different, and nobody knows better than you what you really want and need.
So, sit down and take a moment to think about your desires. Tune out outside
voices, follow your emotions and they will tell you what you need.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Why? There are no two same people. And that is a
wonderful thing. Being unique as we are, there’s no point in comparing
ourselves to other people. We just end up being miserable and envious of the
things we don’t have. We should have faith in our life journey and that
everything we want will find its way to us in the right moment.
What you should do instead? Stop
spending hours and hours looking at perfect lives of other people on social
media. Their lives might not be so perfect after all, they surely have their
share of struggles. Instead, focus on your life and how to make it better.
Start making some real changes instead of just staring at computer screen.
Don’t just complain how some people have it all, and start working on achieving
your goals. Praise yourself for the little achievements and from time to time,
stop to think how far you’ve come.
3. Stop resisting your fear
Why? Being afraid stops us from experiencing many
great things. It limits us and prevents us from feeling happy. If you are
constantly afraid of everything, you will isolate yourself from everything. But
if you push yourself into overcoming your fears, you will see there are no
limits as to what you can do, and you will realize your life is in your hands.
What you should do instead? Approach
every situation you fear as a step closer on your way of becoming a better
person. I used to be afraid of saying “no” to people when I couldn’t or didn’t
want to do something. I was so afraid people won’t like me anymore. But, I
learned that not everyone can and should like me, and being afraid of saying
“no” was doing no good to me – I was wasting my valuable time and energy on
something I didn’t want to do. Now, I say “no” and feel so much better.
4. Stop feeling bad for making a mistake
Why? If you don’t make mistakes, there are no
challenges and no chances for personal growth. Not wanting to make mistakes
means you don’t get to try new things and learn new things. Mistakes are also
valuable lessons that will stick with us forever and make us better.
What you should do instead? Don’t
look at mistakes as something bad and embarrassing. When I had my first
translation job, I was so embarrassed because of the mistakes I made. But I
learned so much, and those mistakes made me more experienced and much confident
in my translation skills. Every time you make a mistake, just remember it will
be really helpful in the future, and that at some point you will be grateful
for it.
5. Stop putting your happiness into other’s hands
Why? If you don’t love yourself and know how to be
happy on your own, nobody else can do it for you. Happiness is inside you, not
outside. And no one can fill the void if you are not happy. Besides, nobody is
in your skin and knows what’s best for you.
What you should do instead? Take a
few days and be on your own, just you and your thoughts. Do something relaxing,
and figure out what makes you happy and what you can do to seek happiness
without anybody else in the picture. Nobody can make the right decisions for
you, because it’s something you live with, not other people.
6. Stop trying to take control of all aspect of your life
Why? Life is unpredictable, and that’s the beauty of
it. Trying to control everything in your life is like trying to control the
weather – simply not possible. Yes, there is rain and storm, but there is also
sun and rainbows. There is no point in stressing out about something you simply
cannot change. The trick is to go with the flow and look forward to the
unknown. Life would be so boring if everything was planned in advance.
What you should do instead? Try to not have
every step of every day planned. I learned from my experience there are always
unpredictable situations, and I just get frustrated if things aren’t going the
way I planned. So, I don’t make detailed plans and always have room for
improvisation.
7. Stop living to others’ expectations or social standards
Why? We are all a part of a society, and every
society will always have standards people should live by. But trying to achieve
those standards will not make you happy. Why do you need to get married before
30? Why do you even need to get married if that’s not something you want?
What you should do instead? You will
never be able to please everyone, so just follow your heart and do what feels
right to you. Forget what other people expect, and create your own goals.
8. Stop aiming for perfection
Why? There’s no such thing as perfection. You will
just waste valuable time and energy and drive yourself crazy if you want
everything to be perfect.
What you should do instead? Put that
energy into something more creative. Aiming for perfection is a never-ending
battle, so stop trying so hard and do something more fun, like reading a book,
or meeting your friends for coffee.
9. Stop trying to make others happy and forget about yourself
Why? You must put yourself first. If you constantly
put yourself last, you will be miserable as you will never have time for
yourself. Being a little selfish is not always bad. If you are happy and
fulfilled, people around you will also feel better.
What you should do instead? Every
morning when you get up, do something nice for yourself. Forget about everybody
else, and do something you like. Treat yourself with something nice every time
you finish a demanding task. Spoil yourself, because nobody else will.
10. Stop putting off your dream
Why? It’s never a perfect time to pursue your dream.
The conditions will never be perfect, and the longer you wait, the more
difficult it will be for you to start.
What you should do instead? If you
have a passion that drives you, start pursuing it immediately, don’t wait. When
you do something you love, all the pieces will come together. If you want to
change your job or quit it to start your own business, don’t be afraid to start
now. Even if you fail, you will learn so much.
11. Stop thinking what makes others happy makes you happy
Why? Every person on this planet is unique, and there
is no universal recipe for happiness. Someone might feel happy while hiking in
nature, but that doesn’t mean you will feel happy doing it.
What you should do instead? Forget
about other people, and explore what you enjoy doing. Don’t be afraid to try
out new things and find what fulfills you.
12. Stop feeling bad to be alone
Why? It is always better to be alone than in a
miserable relationship. It is wrong to stay in a relationship only because you
are afraid of being alone.
What you should do instead? If you
are truly looking for a meaningful relationship, you first need to have a
meaningful relationship with yourself. So, if you are single, use the time to
rediscover yourself and what you really want. Then you will know what you want
from your next relationship instead of relying on your partner to make you
happy.
13. Stop working too hard for the future and forget about the
present
Why? Nobody knows what future holds and planning too
much will only make you anxious. You can never relive the present and you will
miss out on many great things if you just live in the future.
What you should do instead? Focus on
what is around you and what you are doing now. When drinking your morning
coffee, don’t think about things you need to do, just breathe in and enjoy your
coffee. By focusing on now, you will feel more energized and concentrated.
14. Stop neglecting small things in your life
Why? We often believe that only big things can make
us happy, such as buying an expensive car. But everyday small things are the
key to happiness, as they can make us feel better at any moment of every day,
while big things don’t come so often.
What you should do instead? Find at least
one small thing that will make you happier every single day, such as eating an
ice-cream, watching your favorite TV show, or just sitting in the park in the
sun. Cherish and practice those things constantly.
15. Stop focusing on what hurts you
Why? Being hurt is inevitable part of our lives, but
it is a passing thing. Focusing on things that make you feel bad will
unnecessarily prolong negative emotions.
What you should do instead? You need to
eliminate the cause of your pain. If a person is constantly hurting you, they
probably shouldn’t be a part of your life. Work out why you are getting hurt
and try to change something instead of just thinking how bad you feel.
By Ana Erkic
Source from here.
Thanks for reading !
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